So I'm starting this blog as a training journal, random thought depository and, hopefully someday, online community.
So you can tell by the title of this blog that I'm a fat guy. I'm not Homer-Simpson-wearing-a-mumu-going-to-watch-Honk-if-You're-Horny fat, but I weigh probably fifty to sixty pounds more than I should. I know there are many ways to lose those pounds. I've tried a bunch of them. Most recently, I did about nine months of Farrell's Extreme Bodyshaping. I lost almost 25 pounds and got in fairly good cardiovascular shape doing Farrell's. I found that I was bored with the same classes at the same time every day however.
Through all of the other diets and exercise regimens, I've wanted to be a runner. Key word in that sentence - wanted. I don't know what it takes to successfully be a runner. All I know is that every time I've tried to start a running program, no matter how frequently I run or for how many weeks (days?) I stick with the running program, I don't feel like a runner. I feel like a wannabe.
There are many things that make me feel like a wannabe. The first is the fact that I've never successfully run over a mile as an adult. I will change that. The second is my body type. I'm a pretty big guy. Watching marathons or other distance races, I don't see many guys who look like me. As of today I'm 6'0", 238 pounds. My goal is to be either 7'0", 238 pounds or 6'0", 180 pounds. Since I'm not anticipating any second puberty, it looks like I'm going to have to pray for the former but work towards the latter.
And work towards the latter I have. Just about every year when the weather starts getting nice, I go buy a new pair of shoes (more on that in another post I suspect) and start trying to run again. Typically, my default training program has been the Couch to 5K program. It usually works pretty well for the first several weeks. Then I get to week 4. Week 4 always kicks my butt. It's not just the fact that the running time is measured in minutes rather than seconds during that week but it's always some combination of illness, injury, or business that conspire to keep me from getting the runs done and moving on to week 5.
So here we are again. I've finished all of the program again up to week 4, day 2. And I'm stuck. So I'm going to try something different yet again. I have reached a point with my wannabe running status where I have decided that there is no magical initiation ceremony whereby one crosses over the threshold and "becomes" a runner. I believe the only thing required to be a runner is that you run. Clearly, there is no single definition for what constitutes running, but for my purposes I am going to say that picking up my feet and putting them down faster than any walk is running. And I declare for myself and any other fat guy out there that if you want to be a runner, then run. It doesn't matter for how long, or how far, but every day, I will run. I am, therefore, a runner.
So today was my first step as a runner. Because I want to be a runner for as long as I can, how quickly I build up to a respectable distance or time is of no import. Hopefully tomorrow I'll go further or faster, if I don't, that's fine. But tomorrow I will go. I will run and I am a runner.
gary
ReplyDeletedon't know if you are accepting posts, but let me just tell you that i feel the same way about being a runner.
i don't consider myself a runner still, and i have run a couple of half marathons, as well as a full marathon. i still feel like a wannabe because apparently in my mind i am still trying to join the club of athletes, and i have never been one.
part of the problem is that i started as an adult i think
the most important thing is exactly what you said: you are out there doing it, and that counts as being a runner. so there you go.
the only thing that ever kept me going longer than 4 weeks was picking a race that required a few months of training (half in columbus, was straight and flat). i started in july, i allowed myself a few repeat weeks of training (using hal higdon's beginner schedule) for those weeks that often got me off track, and before you knew it, i was running 5 miles and more at a time. it was amazing! after a mile or two, i never got the "high" but i got to a point where it didn't hurt to run anymore and i was just going, which allowed me to accomplish what i never accomplished before, which made me feel high later.
don't know why i am rambling so much, except that i feel like you and i share a lot of the same running insecurities, and i just wanted to show you that you aren't alone! good luck, keep it up, and if you figure out how to motivate yourself for long periods of time without having a race at the end, let me know how you do it!
Wow, I wouldn't have guessed that you'd share the same insecurity about not being a runner. I say that because, I *definitely* consider you a runner. In fact, you are one of the runners who has inspired me to get out there and pound the pavement every day. I can't believe you were back out running and getting your miles in so soon after having your baby and I thought, I haven't gone through anything with my body like that and if she can get out there and do it, then I have to give it a try too. So, you are definitely a runner in my book.
DeleteThank you so much for reading, commenting and giving me the encouragement. Hopefully the next time I'm back home, maybe we can go out for a (slow) run together.
definitely!
ReplyDeletei really try not to even look at the pace when i run, just the mileage. if you listen to your body and go slow in the beginning, your body will adjust to what is comfortable and manageable for the longer distances. if you are trying to keep a certain time, it will be a LOT harder, and i feel like that's for more advanced runners, especially those interested in beating times. in order to keep up their good times they have to do a lot of cross training and i just don't have the time for that. at least, that's what it's like for me. i am sure it's different for different people out there.
thanks for the nice words! the only reason i ever had the nerve to get out there was because i saw someone else like me doing it too, and i thought, "she isn't a whippet-like looking person!" and so i started slowly.
i picked a half marathon to do by the time i was thirty, and my goal was to be able to run 3 miles by july, so that i could start training. that took a month or two, and once you can do 3, you can do 4....5.....6.....
sort of like your post from today where you said you felt like you can keep going. when you are in the groove, it's just like that...you can just keep going. it's so weird and simultaneously AWESOME.
keep it up, keep posting, and keep talking about the music...it's my favorite part.
one more thing,
ReplyDeleteAbout 10 years ago I saw an interview with Will Smith on TV. Someone was asking him how he had become so successful in his acting and music careers, and what advice he could give to the people out there. His answer was interesting. He said, that the best thing he had ever learned was to ignore that little voice that would tell him to STOP when he was running. He said just bend over, buckle down, and keep going. I don't know why that stuck with me, (maybe because at the time it seemed so off topic to the question being asked) but it's really good advice. I can't let that little guy even enter the picture or else I am screwed
Yeah it really seems like it's your mind that wants to give up first. I know a lot more from reading about running right now than actually doing it, but it seems like a lot of people struggle with the voice saying stop than their body saying stop. I'm thinking about a post right now about the mental issue. Specifically, how it seems like a lot of people are running because of something going on in their head (divorce, death of a loved one, overcoming addiction, etc.) I wonder if there's some connection?
DeleteHi Gary!
ReplyDeleteGood Luck with your endeavors! You know, when you set a goal and write it down somewhere, i.e.. a blog, it does wonders with your motivation and accountability! You will find that having some people read your posts will give you some motivation to get out there, lace up your shoes, and just run.
I started running in 2011 and had a goal to finish my first half marathon. I completed the SF half marathon last July and loved it! I plan on completing the other half this year.
Believe me, there are going to be days where you do not want to step outside to run. There will be days where you just want to flat out quit and throw your shoes in the river! But believe me, you will find that internal motivation to keep you going.
Good Luck and I look forward to reading your progress!
Hey thanks Ron. I appreciate you reading and commenting. Way to go in your personal goals. Good luck completing the other half this year. Thanks for the advice and keep reading!
ReplyDelete